My favorite thing

I wake up, rush to get ready, rush to get Eleanor ready, rush to get to work, rush to get my job done, rush to get home, rush to make dinner, help clean up after dinner, rush to get things done in my limited time at night, rush to get Eleanor ready for bed.
And then, it all stops.
Eleanor is ready for bed, her bottle is made. I turn off the lights and snuggle my baby girl close to me. I feel her body totally relax as she grabs her favorite things: pink lovie and a bottle. Then for the next 10 - 15 minutes, it's just me and E. I have to sit there, I have to relax. I can't move. It is bliss.

Sometimes, I watch her. So peaceful. So beautiful. Amazing.
Sometimes, I close my eyes and day dream. As thoughts of work come creeping by, I push them out. As thoughts of chores come lurking in, I push them out. No one can ruin my evening time with E. I listen to her breathe, feel her breathe.

Sometimes, when her bottle is done, I hold her close, rock her and close my eyes. Sometimes, she squirms around and just wants to lay in her bed. Alone. You know how it goes...after a crazy day. But those nights, like tonight, when I get a few extra seconds to cuddle, I treasure.

I think about my relationship with my mom. If that's how Eleanor feels about me, I'm pretty lucky. I think about my mom's relationship with me and if she loves me even 1/2 this much and 1/2 this strong, then I'm pretty lucky.

Something tells me I'm a very lucky woman.

Random

I'm a little nosey. Or curious. Whatever you want to call it. But I just love reading other people's blogs on my lunch break. I don't even know these people, I just love to read about their life. Especially people with babies. I don't know what it is. Maybe it's just that great mental, mindless, break from work. Maybe people I know should write blogs so I can at least read about people I know. I just like that little window into some one else's life.

That's all for now. I have more people to stalk...

We're all gonna DIE!

So...here I am...back at Union Hospital. Another day, another MRI. Sitting in the same chair, in the same corner, saying the same prayers. Believing. Believing in God because my husband has been a rock star through 11 long months of chemo and has kicked cancer's ass! He's got a life long battle, but if anyone can do this - Nicolas can.

WOAH, I digress...That's not what the subject is about!! It's about the fact that we walked into Union Hospital and were greeted by an 8 ft table of face masks, gloves, tissues and enough hand sanitizer for Nic and I to bathe in! Then we walked 10 feet and there was MORE hand sanitizer and face masks. EEWWW, why do I have to spend a day of vacation in this cesspool of germs!! I told Nic he isn't allowed to touch ANYTHING while we are here. I'm following him around with hand sanitizer and I am going to burn our clothes when we get home. No touching our faces. Don't breath! YUCK! I bet swine flu is on every surface of this hospital!

I have to go, I think someone next to me just sneezed!