Long awaited update...

On Monday I drove Nic to his 2nd to last radiation appointment. We also met with Dr. Mehta, Nic's incredibly brilliant and yet incredibly compassionate Radiologist. I really like Dr. Mehta. We aren't sure if the news we heard is good news or bad news...We have a follow up appointment with Dr. Mehta in one month. This will be an appointment just to talk and see how Nic is doing post-radiation. Then TWO MONTHS later, we will get our first MRI. I think we were both a little shocked that we have to wait so long for an MRI. Dr. Mehta said we probably won't see any change with the first MRI and that is OK. We actually just want to have that MRI be stable. Then the next MRI will be 3 more months after that! That is the MRI that could potentially show some change - for the better of course! After that 6 month MRI, we would go on a 4 - 6 month cycle! I asked Dr. Mehta why we would go so long in between MRIs. Even during/after chemo we had more MRIs. Dr. Mehta said he wants the lag because he doesn't want any "false positives or pseudo-progression" BLAH! Two terms that we are very familiar with (of course...our pseudo progression turned into actual progression...so I appreciate him not wanting to put us through that again!).

Nic did end up calling his neuro-oncologist to talk about the lag time between MRIs. Dr. Robins said he'd talk to Dr. Mehta to better understand the time frame. So....this could all change...of course. But for now, this is our plan and we are sticking to it. Each day at a time.

Nic continues to feel "great"! He still isn't working and now that he has our house sparkly clean, hopefully he can sit back and focus on getting better!

Nothin' but good news!

Many of you know that I have a new paid professional in my life...now I wish I was talking about a Merry Maid, a chef or a personal chauffeur...but, alas, I am speaking of my therapist. It's a relationship I am very open with. I think therapy is something we could all benefit from. I love being able to talk and talk and talk and sometimes, when I'm really lucky, I even feel like I am getting results. Well, some of you also know that I had kind of a rough weekend. I felt sad and was dealing with a lot of feelings and emotions I wasn't really used to dealing with. I wasn't in the doc's office 2 minutes before I started crying...I complained that I was tired of feeling this way and I just wanted to accept and move on. I told him I was very concerned that the little white truck was going to pull up at my house any day now and take me away! He laughed, hard! "Dana, you are not psychotic, nor do you show any signs of becoming that way!" WOW! Who would have guessed it! Sometimes I feel like my life is unraveling around me and yet, I am not psychotic! Good news - isn't it? Apparently, I'm just a girl with a lot of shit going on!


Sad, though. I was kind of excited for that white truck to come. I was kind of looking forward to my padded cell and days spent staring at the birds (I think all mental hospitals have bird cages...all nursing homes do and although I'm going to be *gasp* 30 soon...I think I"m closer to a mental hospital than a nursing home!)


Second piece of good news...and this actually is good news. Last night Nic and I went to our second brain tumor support group meeting. I introduced Nic to the program last month, told him we were going and figured I would let him make the decision if he ever wanted to go again. The good news is he was very excited to go this month. I have put off my Love and Logic class, for now. We just have too much going on to commit to one more night a week of being gone. I'm sad I am missing it (as Eleanor and Emma are constant challenges :) but I have a few bigger priorities right now...Anywho...we started the meeting the same way with introductions. There were a few new people in the meeting (new to us, not the group). The first man was Stanley.


Stanley had a brain tumor in 1992. He had surgery and started chemo therapy. The chemo made him horribly ill. He decided to STOP the chemo. Stanley's doctor's said he would be dead in months if he did not continue the chemo. Stanley said I would rather die happy than die horribly ill from the chemo. Obviously, unless I have been watching too much LOST, Stanley is not dead! He coexists with his tumor. His speech is slow and slurred, but he speaks.


I can't remember the other person's name. However, she had a tumor about 20 years ago. She went through surgery and was given 3 months to live. There just was nothing they could do for her tumor. Obviously, she is not dead either.


Two people. Two life sentences. Both alive today. I felt something last night that I haven't felt in a very, very long time. HOPE. These two aren't alive because of advances in modern medicine. Heck, Stanley isn't even alive because of any medicine. I don't know why they are alive. They don't know why they are alive. They don't know how long they have. All they care about is that they are here today. They are living life the way all of us should. Treasure each day at a time. HOPE is an amazingly powerful thing. I feel like I lost it, I did loose it. And now I found it. Although I will remain realistic, I will also remain hopeful. Brain tumors are SO volatile. No one knows what will happen next...so can't I just HOPE that nothing will happen? Or does that make me psychotic :)

My beautiful baby!

Really, I swear, she usually is such a delightful little girl. Somehow she learned to make this face. She thought she was hilarious...it didn't help that dad yelled, Dana, Dana look at this! We both start laughing and I ran for my camera.

Oh Eleanor, never a dull moment!

So productive!

I wish this post was SEW productive, because that would mean that I just finished a project, but heck, I'll take productivity in anyway it comes!

On today's lunch break I:
*Signed up for my VERY FIRST Love and Logic Series. I've attended classes, but this is my first series. I can't wait! I read last night that "Wise parents stop tantrums when their child is young enough to still carry". Watch out Baby E - I'm going to win this one yet!!
**Made my first purchase from VistaPrint - Thank you cards to send to all the wonderful people that have helped our family out and continue to help us out AND peanut allergy stickers for my little peanut!
***Ordered a Blueprint/Layout book for Scrapbooking. In two weekends I'm headed to my cousin's house for 36 hours of uninterrupted scrapbooking! I hope I get my book by then.

Now I continue to see work e-mails pop up on the lower right hand corner of my computer screen. I guess it's time to get back to reality and see what's going on!

Enjoying the weather!

Eleanor is an outdoor ANIMAL! With all this beautiful spring weather, we can barely get her in at night! Here are just a few of my favorite pictures from the past few days!

Oh, so I shouldn't eat the chalk?

Eating french fries at Daddy's kickball game!

First taste of Kopp's ice cream. Heaven!

We are looking forward to more nice days and more fun memories outside!