I have issues

Well, 99% of you that actually read this know about me and my many issues.
Today's issue...I would rather lay in bed and make a list of what I have to pack rather than just getting up and packing.  I'd rather scuttle out of bed tomorrow morning at 5 AM to pack then to do it tonight.
I'm just plain exhausted at night! 

However, I'm thrilled to be laying in bed tonight with the windows open, finally enjoying the sounds of summer.  That heat was for the birds.  BLAH!  I HATE it.  While it's still a little warm, I can handle this!

The good news of the day is that I am 99% certain that Andy and I found a school for Eleanor.  Many of you can remember how hard it was for me to find daycare for Eleanor the first time around.  So the second time proved to be as tricky.  I have been incredibly blessed for 3 years with our current child care arrangement...however...regardless of moving, Eleanor would have had different arrangements next fall anyway. 

While I had originally enrolled her in a 3k program at our church, New Berlin Public Schools don't offer a 3K and our church didn't either.  But Eleanor needs a curriculum and is so ready for school.  And, let's be honest, momma had her heart set on it too!  I would always go back to in-home care (provided my current provider moves to New Berlin!) for an infant...but am SO super excited to have Eleanor in a pre-school now that she's older.  I got gitty with excitement when I saw the alphabet on the wall, and the colors, and the art projects....AND...it's a peanut free school.  Double bonus!

Eleanor and I are going back in a few weeks for another tour.  I want Eleanor to see the school too.  And while I'm not putting a lot of stock in my 3 year old's opinion, as I told the director, Eleanor is a little person.  At 3 she has already graduated from the school of hard knocks and we have conversations that most people don't have with a child.  But I know Eleanor is going to just fall in love with her new school...

...And with a start date of a school year on a calendar...so too must an official move date be scheduled.  Hence my non-commitment to officially saying this is the school.  Packing is a lot of hard work!  Did you know when you move you have to take everything out of your house?  That's crap!  So, luckily, I get to move things slowly...not to mention - my house isn't even on the market yet!!

And finally, don't forget the Rock N Sole run, this Saturday along the Milwaukee Lakefront.  I have friends doing the 5K, the qtr. marathon and the 1/2 mar athon.  And if you are running 3 or you are running 13, every runner likes a crowd...so come cheer us on...and bring your water guns...we like to be sprayed too!  Good Luck to all my fellow runners and please be safe out there!

What about you - how is your summer going?  Picking new schools?  Packing houses?  Running over extremely long bridges?  Hope it's all great!

Happy Father's Day

Happy Father's Day!
The unfortunate part about blogging from my Netbook, is that I don't have any pictures...and everyone likes a good Dad picture!
First and foremost, Happy Father's Day to MY father.  Every little girl thinks their dad is amazing, but, with out argument, my dad takes the cake. He's the dad that taught me to ride a 2 wheeler.  He's the dad that sat through countless dance recitals after his efforts at getting me to play soccer failed miserably.  He's the dad that teaches virtues like patience and honesty.  Love and Respect.  He's the dad that makes me aspire to be someone better than I am.  He's the dad that walked me down the aisle.  He's the dad that cried when I told him his baby was going to have a baby.  He's the dad that held me up when I could no longer take the weight of Nicolas's funeral.  He's the dad that picks my daughter up from daycare.  He's the dad that has morphed into an amazing Grandpa.  Dad - no words can describe my love and respect for you.  I love you.

And to Nicolas.  The foundation of fatherhood for Eleanor.  Everyone thinks that Father's Day is such a sad day for Eleanor and I. While it's sad that Eleanor can't be with her Father on this day, as we do every other day of our life, we choose to be reflective today.  We choose to, not look to look back with sadness, but look back with happiness at what we were able to experience.  In their short time together they lived a life time.  Nicolas  was, very obviously, an amazing father.  The father that got down on the ground and played with his daughter.  The father that got up, without question, for those 1 AM feedings.  The father that just wanted to spend time with his family above anything else.  And the father that had so much love in his heart he continues to shine down on us.  To protect us from afar.  Yes, Eleanor's dad is in heaven and that hurts to say.  But it also means that we have a piece of heaven with us every day.  Happy Father's Day, Nicolas.

And to Andy.  The man who, even before I knew him, knew if he wanted me, he'd have Eleanor too.  The man that never questioned accepting my daughter.  Andy, I know you feel like you don't know what you are doing. You feel like you don't know how to be a father yet.  But ask them all - no one knows how to father.  They follow what's in their heart and somehow that's right.  You've listened to the jaw dropping, shocking comments that come out of a 3 year old's mouth.  You've endured the temper tantrums.  You've wiped little tushies.  You've even endured cleaning up puke already! (We initiate fast around here).  You've enjoyed tiny kisses and hugs that make you feel like a king.  You've heard the sweet whisper of, "I love you".  Day by day, you figure it out.  And that, my friend, is what makes you a dad.  And while I can't thank you enough for loving me...It's the love you have for Eleanor that makes my heart burst.  And so I say to you, Happy Father's Day.  You will be great!

And to the others - the Father-In-Law, the Brother-in-Law, the sea of friends that help to father my Eleanor.  To ensure she has the male guidance she needs.  Who are amazing fathers to their children.  I love you all.  And I hope you all have an amazing day!

So - kiss a dad today and tell him he's doing a dang good job!

The Weekend Review

Andy and I had an amazing weekend!  One of his friends got married in Bloomingdale, IL.  We spend some time alone, we spent some time with friends, we ate some good food and indulged in WAY too much alcohol.  I felt incredibly loving all weekend and just over all, happy.  We went to IKEA this afternoon, picked up some fun stuff and headed home.  I thought it was just a great weekend.


And then I got to Andy's house.  I jumped out of the car and into the house to grab my keys.  I was eager to get back on the road because I wanted to see my little Ellie bean.  I walked in the house and there was something red all over the floor.  Damn it, Karl...what did you get into?!  Only...Karl wasn't home and on second glance, I noticed they were rose petals. I looked on the fireplace and noticed the most obnoxiously large vase of red roses and lilies.  I thought Andy did something sweet because he had a good weekend.  I didn't really know how he did it...but I guess I wasn't thinking rationally.  Andy started stammering behind me.  "I think we need to go downstairs and talk".  And I started saying, "Oh my God" over and over and over and over.

 And there it was as we reached the edge of the landing.  A thick spread of rose petals asking those four words we have been talking about.  I know Andy said a lot of great things, but I don't remember anything!  I just remember saying, "Oh my God". 

 Finally, he grabbed the ring box and asked me if I wanted to see it.  He got down on one knee and asked me to marry him (first, he asked me if I'd help him get back up when he was ready).  I said "Yes" 100 million times and then he told me I had to put the ring on because his hand was shaking too much!

And then we sat on the floor and let it all sink in.  And that's when it hit me.  And that's when I started crying.  I told him I was a mess.  I told him I came with so much baggage.  I told him I was going to drive him crazy.  And I told him that I didn't realize I was unhappy until he made me happy.  I didn't realize I was in pieces until he held me together.  I don't know what I did to deserve this man.  But I do.  I do deserve him and I deserve this and we deserve each other.  And now I get to spend the rest of my life trying to make him as happy as he has made me.  And he's amazing and I can't wait for everyone to get to know him better.  I can't wait for every one to fall in the love with the man I will call my husband.  The smart, calm, patient, sarcastic, witty man that I feel head over heels in love with. 

So what started as a good weekend, turned into a really amazing amazing weekend. And on and on and on....