Field Trip

I don’t really recall being asked for permission…but somehow, overnight, my baby grew up.  I know, I know, I’ve said this before.  But I REALLY mean it now.  She’s like a kid.  Not a baby.  Not a toddler.  A full functioning KID.  It’s amazing, watching her grow and discover, but sometimes it honest to goodness breaks my heart.  I mean, I should be happy she’s happy and HEALTHY (I thank God EVERY day for that!).  But seriously?  Is it really supposed to happen this fast? 

So, in the spirit of growing up too fast, when I saw the permission slip in Eleanor’s Preschool Cubby announcing her first field trip, I marched into my boss’s office and proclaimed, “Come Hell or High Water, I’m chaperoning Eleanor’s first field trip.”  I’m not sure my boss even looked up from her computer.  “OK”.   I’m very lucky to work for an organization that truly believes and supports the work/life balance.  (And…they don’t hold it over your head, after you make a family decision…like some companies!).

So Eleanor has been talking for WEEKS about going on her field trip to the pumpkin farm and riding the hay wagon and the school bus.  It’s been a long few weeks!

And then it happened.  Monday I got my first call from school…”Mrs. Terrones, this is Preschool…Eleanor has a 103 fever.  Can you come get her?”  I raced to school and picked up a wilted little Eleanor.  It was pathetic.  I told E to tell her teacher she would hopefully see her tomorrow.  Then I learned that in a state licsenced daycare, a child can’t return until they have been fever free, without medication, for 24 hours.  Um.  Crap!  My fiancé and I work full-time.  Not to mention, the next day when Eleanor woke up, she was basically fine.  So Andy and I did the last minute scramble that all parents know about!  And we made it work (yeah, Team Bach is pretty freakin’ amazing!)  We tried our hardest to get E to relax.  Tried our hardest not to give her medication and kept an eye on that temperature. 

All ended up working out and Wednesday morning I took Eleanor to school and staid with her until we left for the field trip.  The parent to kiddo ratio was 1:2.  So it was just me, E and our new friend “T”.  As we approached the big yellow school bus, I asked the girls if they had ever ridden a school bus before.  E nearly bounced all the way there and sang…to the entire parking lot…”I’ve NEVER been on a school bus, Mom!  This is the Best Day of MY LIFE!”  Wow – and it’s only 9 AM.  Sweet. 

When we got on the bus E and T were just befuddled.  “MOM!  There are NO seatbelts on this bus.  What do we do?!”  We made it the 2 miles down the road and entered the pumpkin patch.  I loved watching the kiddos explore and learn and play.  I learned that 3 year olds love to LOVE. They are all hugs.  All holding hands.  All cuddles.  It was grand!  They want SO much to do things on their own.  But they want SO much to be helped.  I knew this about my kid – I just didn’t realize it was the same for all 3 year olds. 

The field trip also allowed me to observe E’s teachers a little more.  I got to watch E want to be with her teacher.  To want to break free from my hand and hold her teacher’s.  To seek her teacher’s approval on things.  After what seemed like a hard adjustment to E’s new school (well, for mom anyway!), it was the affirmation I needed. 

After a quick 2 hours, we were back on the bus heading home.  Both T and E had their heads on my shoulders.  They were all just exhausted.  I have to say, the field trip went very well.  Things seemed very organized and I am SO SO happy I can say I got to experience Eleanor’s first field trip!

But SERIOUSLY KID…STOP growing up SO fast!!

The kids all had to wear bright green t-shirts with the school name on them. 

October

October has and always will be my favorite month.

I love fall.  Everything about it.  The sights.  The sounds. The smells.  Love!

I have long said that if all of your family and friends got together and celebrated Halloween, the way we celebrate Christmas, October would surpass every other month as the best. month. ever.

So, it's really no surprise that when I first was engaged, I quickly picked October for my wedding.  And I planned an amazing leaf/fall inspired wedding. 

Life quickly changed for me on October 6, 2010.  And I thought I would hate October for the rest of my life.  I can take myself back to that day in a minute.  I can feel the thick, hard cold pressure on my chest.  The suffocation of my life.  October 6 draws upon me harder and faster than February 22 does.  I see the date on the calendar and I shutter.  I want to wish it away.  And still, I could tell you everything about that day.  The sights.  The sounds. The smells.

The transition from Widow to Fiance has been a complicated one.  And I woke up on October 6, 2012 in a place I didn't think was possible.  The day was overcast and cold.  I bundled up and went for a run...with my dog.  Who would have thought?  And I spent some moments reflecting.  Never forgetting where I've been.  Who I've become.  But not spending so much time looking back, that I can't see what's in front of me.  And I just had an amazing day. 

And I crawled into bed that night and I felt my fiance wrap his strong, warm arms around me and for the first time all day, I let myself give into the day.  I felt the hot tear run down my cheek.  2 years ago, I was certain my life was over.  Perhaps, I wanted it to be over.  And now I have Andy and he's given me, he has created with me, a second chance.  A chance to live again and to have all of which I thought was lost. 

And October will just be a long, complicated month.  Because as quickly as October 6 came, it's gone.  For another year gone.  And today, although one day early, we celebrated "October 8".  We celebrated Andy's birthday. 

And we laughed.  2 years ago, I had no idea that I would be on a hay wagon with my daughter and my fiance, smiling, laughing and enjoying a day as a family.  And Andy....well, one year ago...if you would have told him how he was going to be celebrating his 35th birthday, he would have just laughed at you.  Eleanor and I made brownies.  We wrapped birthday presents.  We sang.  We carved our pumpkins.  And we made some great moments.  And I wouldn't have traded this day for the world. 

And next weekend.  I'll celebrate my 6th wedding anniversary.  And yes.  I'll keep counting.  And yes.  I'll keep celebrating.  Yes. 
And the next day after that.  I'll celebrate the day I picked up my phone, saw Andy's picture, and a text from my friend, instructing me that I just HAD to meet her friend's brother.
And on the last day of the month, I'll celebrate the day that changed my life.  Again.  The day I received that e-mail.  To Andy and I.  Introducing us. 

And I'll keep riding this roller coaster every October.  From now until forever.  High highs.  Low Lows.  And every single one of those things had to happen for the other to happen.  And that's why I'll keep loving October.  And I'll keep celebrating October.  But I guess.  Maybe October isn't all that different then the rest of my life.  Then the rest of your life.  high highs.  low lows.  And we just keep celebrating. 

so...::Cheers::