1 week

And just like that a week has passed. In all honesty, this was probably the easiest week I have to deal with. It was spent with family and friends, tears and laughter, drinks and food. Yes, I'd say week 1 was the easiest. People tell me that it's going to get easier, but I actually feel like it has to get harder first.

Today turned out to be a rough day for me. I spent the morning at the Betty Brinn Children's museum with a friend and her 2 boys. A great time was had by all, but like all good things...it couldn't last all day. I just needed two minutes alone with my thoughts to completely fall apart. How has it already been a week?

My chest pains were so severe this evening that at one point I had to bend over just to try and get oxygen to them. If things were getting easier, then why do I still feel like my chest is going to explode?

FOCUS DANA. I stare at a picture of us and I remember how happy I was. I remember how happy he made me and how I am a better person for knowing him. How I am the luckiest for loving him and being loved in return.

Nah...right now I can only focus on the pain and sadness. I'm having another friend come over for a glass of wine and hopefully, just hopefully, I will be in bed and sleeping when the clock hits 9:30. I don't want to see it. Although, it's just as hard to see every minute leading up to 9:30. God, I want this day to be over. It goes without saying Nicolas...I love you and I miss you like crazy.

TOnight I leave you with a story from Nic's cousin's wife. Thanks for sharing your memory with us Melissa! It is a great, classic Nic story...

"This happened at our wedding and Nic had just gone through a surgery. (2004) Brad was doing his "Brad moves" and removing the garter to throw to the single men. All the men were gathered around him and Nic took a seat next to all the men. No one thought anything of it, just figured he was tired and didn't want to join in. The countdown began and Brad throws the garter in the air. As it's beginning to descend, Nic makes a last minute leap in front of 3 men and snatches it out of the air. I had front row seating for this and it was so priceless. Many high fives were given and everyone was laughing. It was a memory I will never forget. The story is told by my family quite a bit because the garter was going right in the direction of my youngest brother."

Melissa included a picture - but I'm having trouble attaching it...gotta love Nic with the Flower Girl! :) Thanks again, Melissa!